Tough Love

August 15, 2017

Tommy Spaulding

Blog

My family and I were having breakfast at a packed restaurant this morning. The fire alarm went off. Loud siren. Wonk. Wonk. Wonk. Flashing lights. And not one person budged. Nobody moved. Not even my wife, who is the ultimate rule follower! Everyone just ignored the alarm and kept on eating their pancakes.

Why is that?

I attended Viola Elementary in Montebello, New York. Our principle was Mr. Finch. He ruled the school with an iron fist. When the fire alarm went off, five hundred students jumped to their feet and marched single file, hands to their sides, silently, outside to the parking lot. Not one peep.

Why is that?

As many of you know, I entered the sub sandwich franchise business last year. I thought it would be fun to own a handful of sub shops. Great brand. Great product. 12 months later, fun would be the last word I would describe being a restaurant owner! Our required uniform is the same in all 2000 Jersey Mike’s sub shops throughout the country. Khaki pants. Black shoes with matching belt. Tucked in logoed shirt. Pressed apron. Jersey Mikes baseball hat. Name tag. And clean shaven.

All my staff wore that uniform from head to toe the first month our sub shop was open. Today, my staff hardly ever tuck in their shirts, wear a vast array of colored shoes, wrinkled aprons, no belts, all kinds of facial hair, no sign of a name tag and even a Miami Dolphins baseball hat. I heard that one employee wore shorts to work last month!

Why is that?

When I turned 14, I got my first job at McDonald’s. Marc Packman was my boss. My father, a middle school English teacher, taught Marc at Kakiat Junior High years before. Marc ran that store like Captain von Trapp ran his home in The Sound of Music. Clean as a whistle. And when we showed up to McDonald’s with the slightest deviation from our official uniform, Marc would thank us for coming in and then send us home without pay. Simply put, everyone wore their uniform – impeccably. Everyone.

Why is that?

For the last ten years of my life I’ve been committed to teaching how love is a critical part of leadership. How love is the essence of Heart-Led Leadership. But what I have come to understand is that tough love is an even more critical part of Heart-Led Leadership. If you love someone, you want to hold them accountable. Accountability is the cornerstone of tough love. Without it, your team may start wearing shorts to work!

How does your team see you as a leader? Are you able to demonstrate tough love at work?

Whether it is exiting a building during a fire alarm or wearing the proper uniform to work, your team does not just need your love, they need your tough love. Mr. Finch and Marc Packman showed me tough love and I’m better, today, for it. Perhaps I need to bring more tough love to my sub shop. Perhaps we all need to embrace that the best part of love can be the tough part of love.

Tuesdays with Tommy

Tuesdays with Tommy

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