I attended a wedding in Iowa this past June that I’m still thinking about. I’ve been to a hundred or more weddings in my lifetime, but this one was beyond special. I’m half Italian, so growing up in New York, most weekends were spent attending family functions – many of them weddings.
What made this Iowa wedding unforgettable was how Jill and I both felt when we left the reception. Bottom line: The bride and groom, Natalie and Jared, made us better people. Heck, they made everyone better people. It was impossible to witness Natalie and Jared’s wedding without walking away deeply moved and changed. I’d bet my last paycheck that if you interviewed every person that attended Natalie and Jared’s wedding, they would all say the same thing – they are better people because of what they witnessed on June 9, 2023.
So, what made this wedding so special? It was not the wonderful food, wine, music, flowers, or beautiful reception venue. This wedding had a theme! I’ve never attended a wedding with a “theme”. The theme of this wedding was “Love is a Verb”. Everything about that evening centered around watching two people in love and seeing “love is a verb” in action. They even had those four words, “Love is a Verb,” in neon lights above the wedding head table.
Most weddings consist of the processional, readings, exchange of vows, exchange of rings, and finally, the kiss. Natalie and Jared did all those things, and they added something I’ve never seen before – they washed each other’s feet. Yes, just like Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, Natalie and Jared washed each other’s feet in front of everyone – to model the ultimate kind of love – servant love. There was not a dry eye that witnessed this beautiful ceremony, and I am a better person because of it.
Marriage is hard. My parents got divorced. Both of my sisters are divorced. My grandparents on my father’s side divorced. Aunts, uncles, cousins, and best friend from high school…divorced.
Many marriages fail because we have been wrongly taught that marriage is 50/50 – you give 50 percent and your spouse gives 50 percent and, together, you have 100 percent. Total bullshit. I’ve been taught by my greatest mentors with lasting and thriving marriages that if you want any chance of your marriage succeeding, you need to give 100% to your spouse and expect nothing in return. Expect absolutely nothing!
This same theory holds true for workplace cultures, organizations, educational institutions, and companies. Those that are 100% committed to serving others at work are more successful than those that do not. Fifty percent of workplace cultures, just like marriages, fail because of the lack of servanthood. Lack of humility. Lack of love. Lack of putting your teammates, employees, students, customers, and clients before oneself.
I’ve got friends in Des Moines, Iowa that run a company called JT Logistics. “J” stands for Jamie and “T” stands for Troy. And the two of them, along with their senior leadership team, have built a culture worth admiring. I’ve been working with JT Logistics for a decade, and it has been an honor watching their cultural growth. Love everywhere. Servanthood everywhere. Humility everywhere. And because so, cultural growth is not the only thing growing. Last year, JT Logistics was named the fastest growing company in the State of Iowa. Love AND Results. Two sides of the same coin.
Now, Jamie and Troy are not washing the feet of their employees and customers. but their people feel like they do. I am sure Natalie and Jared are not washing each other’s feet every day, but I bet you my last dollar they both feel like they do.
Nearly everyone in my family tree is divorced or has gotten divorced. And truth be told, I married a divorced person. Jill was married and divorced before I met her twenty-two years ago. It is easy to get married. Easy to stay married. But it is hard to model a great marriage.
It is easy to get a job. Easy to go to work every day. But it is hard to be an exceptional teammate, employee, and leader. The difference between easy and hard is simple: love, humility, and a servant’s heart. If you work on those three qualities and attributes, you will have a fighting chance to change your family tree. A fighting chance to change your organizational chart – and build something special, like my friends at JT Logistics. Something so special that people want to be a part of it.
Next time you are at a wedding, listen to the fruits of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. I know I need to model more of that in my marriage, and I know I need to model more of that in my organization’s culture. We are not perfect. JT Logistics is not perfect. And Natalie and Jared are far from perfect. But if we all commit to love, heart-led service, and embrace humility, we stand a chance to beat the statistics and live lives with thriving relationships and be a part of amazing organizations.
We don’t have to wash the feet of the people we love and serve, but we sure as heck must act like it. And we need to continue to give 100% and expect nothing in return.