When I was young, all I wanted was to go wider. I wanted more friends, to sell more books, to speak to bigger audiences. I wanted to change more lives, and to do that, I chased volume.
When I worked with high school students, I was proud to gather hundreds of students together at the National Leadership Academy. I loved the energy of packed rooms and massive impact. Bigger always felt better. More people equaled more influence.
But somewhere along the way, my definition of impact began changing.
Today, I’d rather take 50 high school students to Europe through our Global Youth Leadership Academy and personally invest in each one of them. I want to know their names, hear their stories, understand their challenges, and help them discover the impact and influence they can have on the lives of others.
I’m no longer chasing to influence the masses. I want to personally influence the influencers.
Those 50 students… they’ll go on to impact hundreds, thousands, millions of other people. And that kind of ripple effect matters more to me than numbers ever did.
The same thing has happened with my books. When I first became an author, I cared deeply about rankings, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today. I watched sales numbers constantly. I measured success by how many books were sold and how they climbed on all the various bestseller lists.
But now, if I’m being honest, I haven’t looked at those rankings in years. Now I’m thinking about it differently. If one person reads one of my books and their life radically changes because of it, then the book was worth writing.
One changed life is enough.
The same change happened in my speaking career.
There was a time when I wanted the biggest stages possible. I believed success meant speaking to 20,000 people at a conference. Bigger audience, louder applause, bigger influence. But now, some of the most meaningful work I do happens in small rooms.
At our Heart-Led Leader Retreats, we bring together about 25 leaders at a time. We spend a few days together talking honestly about leadership, service, relationships, love, purpose, and the kind of leaders we want to become – both personally and professionally.
And I would choose those 25 people over a stadium any day. Because when you go deeper, you change hearts. And if you change hearts…you change lives.
We live in a world where it is easier than ever to reach people. One social media post, one email, one video can instantly reach thousands. But while we’ve become more connected digitally, many people feel more disconnected personally than ever before. We were never created just for surface-level interaction or influence at scale; we were made for connection. Real connection. Face-to-face conversations. Deep relationships. Honest vulnerability. People don’t just want to be seen by the masses. They want to be known. And I think that’s part of why my heart has shifted from going wider to going deeper. Because real transformation always happens through genuine human connection…one person at a time.
A little while ago, I received a letter from a woman whose marriage was falling apart. She told me she had been preparing to leave her husband before he attended one of our Heart-Led Leader retreats. But something shifted while he was there. He came home different, more present, more servant-hearted, and more intentional. She wrote to tell me the retreat saved their marriage. I recently had dinner with them, and hearing their story really touched my heart.
I’ve received countless letters from employees saying they barely recognized their boss after attending a Heart-Led Leader retreat. Leaders returned home leading differently, with more humility, empathy, courage, and heart.
That’s the kind of impact I care about now. It’s not about filling stadiums anymore. It’s about filling people’s hearts. It’s about changing hearts. And what I’ve learned is this:
Life isn’t always about going wider. It’s not about having the most followers, the biggest audience, or the largest reach.
What are you chasing? Are you chasing volume? Are you choosing to go wider, rather than deeper, because of ego, self-interests, or recognition? What would life look like if you shifted your heart? What would your relationships be like if you went deeper, rather than wider?
There is incredible joy in going deeper. Deeper friendships, deeper conversations, deeper mentorship, deeper leadership, deeper transformation, deeper love.
Because at the end of the day, people rarely remember how many people you’ve reached.
But they never forget the influence you’ve had on their lives.