Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a world-renowned poet, novelist, scientist, and Statesman – who is considered the greatest German literary figure of the modern era – said 250 years ago, “Tell me whom you consort with, and I will tell you who you are.”
Translation: Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you become. Tell me who your mentors are, and I will tell you who you become. Tell me who has had a positive (or negative) influence in your life, and I will tell you who you have become.
I believe this is one of the greatest quotes of all time. Goethe understood two and a half centuries ago that who we surround ourselves with matters. We are a product of our relationships and our experiences. The people we allow to have an influence on our lives (positively or negatively) will dictate the outcome of our happiness and success.
If you agree with Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s words, then it is time we become intentional about the relationships we have in our lives. And more importantly, be selective about who we allow to influence our lives.
Next time you reach for your phone or tablet to watch your favorite show or to scroll social media, pause instead and take twenty minutes to reflect on those who have had an influence on your life – positively and negatively. Take it one step further and utilize this information to do what I call an “Influence Audit”.
Write down the names of ten people who’ve had the greatest and most positive influence on your life. Former or current teachers, coaches, managers, mentors…write down the names of ten people who changed your life because they invested and believed in you.
For me, my list took thirty seconds because I can name off the top of my head the ten people, other than my family, who have had the greatest influence on my life.
Dianne Singer, Tom France, Bob Veltidi, Jack Karns, Dick Eakin, Terry Adams, Ken Blanchard, Jerry Middle, Bill Graebel and Frank DeAngelis. These ten folks invested in me, loved me, taught me, mentored me, guided me, educated me, and ultimately, changed my life. I would not be the person I am today without the influence these ten folks have had on my life.
Your turn. Take the time to write down ten names.
Once you have your list – here’s what I want you to do with those names.
First, reach out to all of them this week to let them know they had a tremendous influence on your life. Two of my ten names have passed away – if this is true for names on your list don’t disregard them, perhaps reach out to their living spouse, children, or grandchildren. You have no idea what this simple act will do for the people that invested in you. It will make their day, their month, their year!
Second, ask yourself if you are investing in the lives of others. Ask yourself if your influence on the lives of others is so profound, that your name is on the “Influence Audit” of another person(s). Pause again and reflect on why or why not. Choose to invest positively in your relationships and watch the ripple effect of your influence.
Feel free to do the same “Influence Audit” with the ten most negative influences on your life. And then delete them from your life. And if you can’t delete them, then learn to have strong boundaries to protect yourself against their negative influence. Negative relationships steal your confidence, your purpose, and your dreams.
Make your list – don’t wait, the time is now! Contact them. Tell them. And then live a life of investing in the lives of others. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe understood this. And now that you understand the power of positive influence, it is time to start living it. Someday you will get a phone call from someone that will change your life, because you changed theirs.