There are words in the English vocabulary that are drastically overused by westerners. One word that comes to mind: Love. I lived in Nagano, Japan for two years teaching English when I was in my twenties. The thing I appreciated most about the Japanese culture and language is that the word love is sacred. Sacred. The word is never used unless a Japanese person REALLY means it. I love you. Or Aishiteru, as the Japanese say it. Sacred.
Westerners say and use the word love probably more than any word in the dictionary. I love Italian food. I love vacationing in Florida. I love the New York Yankees. I love ice cream. Overused.
When I first met Tim Brand back in December 2017, I did not know back then that he would not only change the way I used the word love, but more importantly, change the way I lived the word love.
Six years ago, I was coaching and mentoring a high school student who also happened to be named Tommy. I wanted to give Tommy a “life changing” experience that would influence his heart forever. An experience that would make him realize what a blessed life he had and understand the power of serving others. My dear friends, Jon & Stacie Sefton, introduced me to an organization called Many Hands for Haiti based out of Pella, Iowa. This organization worked with volunteers who served the poor in Haiti. Two months later, Tommy and I planned a service trip to Haiti. Thanks to the help of my new friend, Tim Brand, we planned a “life changing” trip to Haiti that would help this young high school kid become a heart-led leader.
The night before the early morning trip to Haiti, Tommy cancelled. I had a choice to make: Should I cancel my trip as well, or honor the hard work Tim and his team had planned and attend the trip solo? I got on the plane the next morning, and my life and the way I define the word love has never been the same.
Haiti is only 682.23 miles by plane from Miami, Florida. A mere two-hour flight separates one of the richest countries in the world from one of the poorest. What I learned from my very first Haitian friend, Louisa, a janitor at the Many Hands for Haiti campus is this, Haitians may be poor financially, but they are wealthy with love. And love wealth is far more valuable than material wealth.
Tim Brand taught me more about love in that five-day trip to Haiti than all my years on this planet. Now, we all get to learn from Tim’s beautiful heart as he shares that love in his new book, Standing on the Shoulders. Tim’s book is about one word: Aishiteru…LOVE! A love between a father and a son. A love between man and his community. And more importantly, a love between ourselves and those that we get to spend a lifetime serving.
Of the 36,000 words in Tim’s book, there are thirty-two words that will change your life and influence the remaining years you have living on this planet:
“Will those who come behind you need to fix all the things you broke during your life, or will they stand on foundations you built, stronger because of the way you lived?”
Those that come behind you – your children, your grandchildren, your spouse, your friends, your employees, your co-workers, your customers, your clients, your neighbors. Will they need to fix all the things you broke during your life, or will they stand on foundations you built, stronger because of the way you lived? What a powerful question. Will the people you leave behind need to fix all the things you broke during your life, or will they stand on foundations you built, stronger because of the way you lived?
The last boss I had, back in 2008, was a narcissist. He put himself before others. He had a huge ego. And worse, he posed himself as a self-serving and heart-led leader, but in truth, he was a self-serving leader. My friend and author of Give and Take, Adam Grant, calls these kinds of leaders, posers — posing to serve others when you really are all about serving yourself. My last boss did not leave behind a legacy of servanthood. And I have committed my life’s work, since 2008, to make sure no other bosses are ever like him.
My grandparents, Helen and Anthony, had been married for fifty-seven years. Totally devoted to one another until their last breath together. Loved and loyal to their four daughters and fourteen grandchildren. Lived a humble and simple life as hairdressers, but woke up every day ready to love and serve others. They lived a life worth emulating.
How will people talk about your legacy? Are you like my last boss, or are you like Helen and Anthony?
Tim Brand has stood tall on the shoulders of his father, Denny Brand, for his entire life and continues to stand on the shoulders of his legacy. Denny was not famous or wealthy, and his death did not make the headlines or national news; however, Denny did something most of us fail to do. Denny lived a life of giving, serving, and loving. So much so that the entire community of Pella, Iowa and all who knew him will never be the same.
My hope and prayer is that all those that love you and all those that choose to follow you will stand a little taller on the foundations you built, stronger because of the way you lived, and more importantly, because of the way you loved.