Four years ago, when Tate was considering playing hockey at Shattuck St. Mary’s in Faribault, MN, we had to have a lot of hard conversations. Shattuck is the top hockey school in the country, if not the world, and to make the team as a freshman is incredibly difficult.
There’s one conversation in particular, that I remember vividly. Tate was 14, and it was the first chippy conversation that I had with my son.
Tate was on a long rant about how hard it would be to make the team, how he was smaller than most of the kids, how thousands of other kids were trying out, how many were stronger and more talented. I let him go. I listened as he laid out, point by point, why other players were better and where he fell short.
When he finished, I told him “Tate, you’re the kind of kid that coaches want to coach. You have a work ethic that you can’t be taught. You have heart, character, faith and you lead the right way. Coaches notice that. It matters.”
I felt pretty good about that dad speech. He, then, looked at me and said I had no idea what I was talking about. He told me he could be the greatest kid in the world, but at the end of the day, it’s all about how good of a player you are.
I paused, bit my tongue, and said, “Tate, you’ve got a lot to learn. The tie goes to the runner.”
That’s a baseball saying. When the play is close, too close to call, the runner is safe. It’s not always about being clearly better. Sometimes it comes down to who pushes just enough to make it even…because when it’s even, tie always go to the runner.
Now Tate is senior at Shattuck St. Mary’s and on the Prep Team, the top team at Shattuck. Last week they won the National Championship in Las Vegas. Four short years from that chippy conversation later, Tate is a national champion.
Every year parents have two meetings with head coach, Tom Ward. He is a legend. He is no a nonsense kind of guy. He is not big on handing out compliments. He says what he means and means what he says.
At our end of season meeting with him this month, Coach Ward told us that Tate was a talented hockey player, but more importantly, he was the glue of their team.
I share that not because Tate proved me right, but because I think he learned something important. Talent matters. Skill matters. But when things are close, and they almost always are, character, attitude, and work ethic are what separate you.
That is where the edge is. That’s how you win the tie.
I learned a version of that lesson in my own career.
When I was CEO of Up with People, I had this dream that I wanted to write books, speak, and become a thought leader. In 2008, I quit my job to go for it. A lot of people reminded me how hard that path would be, how tough it is to get published, to build a speaking career.
They were right.
I’ve now been on the speaking circuit for eighteen years. I’ve written three New York Times, Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling books. I’ve been fortunate to build a career I’m really grateful for.
But it’s not because I’m the best writer. It’s not because I’m the best speaker. It’s because I try to do a little more.
My mentor, Ken Blanchard, once asked me, “What’s going to be your competitive edge?” In other words, when everything else is close, when the books are similar, when the talks are equally strong, what tips the scale?
I decided that I was always going to go above and beyond for my clients.
Before I do a corporate keynote, I learn more about that company than most of the employees in the audience. When I gave a keynote for Starbucks, I worked as a barista for a day. Before I gave a keynote for Chick-fil-A, I went into a restaurant and served chicken sandwiches and “my pleasures” for a day.
The night before a keynote, if I’m asked to go to dinner with the leadership team, the answer is always yes. If a client has a relationship at a local Boys and Girls Club and asks me to pop in and give a short talk, the answer is yes.
I try to be the same person off the pages of my books as I am on them. When I step off a stage, nothing changes.
I’m proud of the career I’ve built, and I know I’ve been given both talent and opportunity. But I also know there are better writers than me. Smarter thinkers. More powerful storytellers.
So I’ve tried to make up the difference in the margins.
Because no matter what you do, there will always be someone more talented. You can’t control that. But what you can control is how you show up.
You can control your effort. Your consistency. Your willingness to go a little further than what’s expected. There’s not a lot of traffic on the extra mile. And more often than not, that’s where the difference is made.
So when things are close, and they often will be, how fast are you running to first base…because the tie always goes to the runner.