Last week, I had the opportunity to fly back to Colorado and speak at the 49th Annual Scouting Sports Breakfast. I was asked to talk about leadership and was given the great honor of presenting the Lifetime Achievement Award (the highest award given by Scouting America) to my good friend and mentor, Bill Graebel.
Bill is one of the four most important men in my life. Other than my father, grandfather, and Jerry Middel, few have shaped me more. Bill has supported nearly everything I’ve built. Not occasionally, but consistently. Graebel Companies has been the presenting sponsor of our National Leadership Academy for 27 years. They have sponsored students at our Global Youth Leadership Academy for 25 years. Graebel Companies sends their leaders to our Heart-Led Leader Retreats, Mastermind, and has been the presenting sponsor at our annual Global Summit for 25 years. More importantly, Bill has been a father figure. A big brother. And one of the greatest mentors in my life.
Before the Scouting breakfast, I was handed a two-page bio outlining Bill’s accomplishments.
It was everything you’d expect in a Lifetime Achievement award bio. Titles. Milestones. Philanthropy. Board positions. Business success.
And as I sat there reading it, I had a powerful realization. Every self-serving leader I’ve ever met also has a two-page bio. Because money can buy power. Power can buy influence. Influence can build a two-page résumé.
But none of that can buy respect.
I had planned to walk on stage and read Bill’s bio. But as I looked at those two pages, I realized reading them would actually be a disservice. Because the most important thing about Bill wasn’t written there.
So I folded it up. And I walked on stage and spoke from the heart. I started with this:
“Forty-two years ago, when I was fifteen years old, two things happened that changed my life. I became an Eagle Scout. And I attended a leadership academy called RYLA (Rotary Youth Leadership Academy), where I learned about the two types of leaders in our world: self-serving leaders and servant-leaders. I’ve been committed to building servant leaders (what I call heart-led leaders) ever since.”
A heart-led leader asks, “How can I serve?” while a self-serving leader asks, “How do I benefit?” A self-serving leader is driven by ego, recognition, and control. Decisions are
filtered through personal advancement and outcome. They are concerned with how their bio of accomplishments will read.
A heart-led leader, on the other hand, leads from humility and love. They are willing to listen before speaking, to elevate others before themselves, and to make decisions based not solely on profit or personal praise, but on people. Over time, only one of those approaches creates trust, loyalty, and a thriving culture.
Bill doesn’t send his employees to our Heart-Led Leadership Retreats because we’re friends. He sends them because he believes in developing leaders who put people first.
For fifteen consecutive years, Bill and Graebel Companies have sent their leaders to every one of our Heart-Led Leader Retreats. Every one of them. One hundred and fifty-five leaders to be exact.
On the first day of every retreat, my business partner Catie Campbell and I, do something very powerful. We talk about the two types of leaders – servant and self-serving. We ask all participants to write down on a yellow sticky note the name of the greatest heart-led leader they have ever known. And we also ask them to write down on a pink sticky note the name of the greatest self-serving leader they’ve ever known. So powerful!
Over fifteen years of running these Heart-Led Leader Retreats, I’ve heard 155 leaders talk about Bill. And I have seen Bill’s name on 155 yellow sticky notes. You should hear how they talk about Bill Graebel. In my entire career, I’ve never met a leader who is more loved…and more respected.
They talk about how Bill makes them feel seen. Valued. Challenged. Encouraged. They talk about how Bill believes in them before they believe in themselves. How he pushes them toward their potential and how he puts the team first.
And if you went into his home and asked his wife, Mary, his sons David and Danny, his closest friends, you would hear the same themes.
That’s why he won the Lifetime Achievement Award.
Not because Bill has built a two-page resume. But because of how he has built leaders around him.
We put so much emphasis on accomplishments. Résumés. Endorsements. Titles. Even on my own Tommy Spaulding website, you’ll find testimonials and credentials. But at the end of the day, none of that matters if the people closest to us wouldn’t say we made them better.
I often ask audiences: Who is a self-serving leader? Nobody ever raises their hand. But if I interviewed the people around you…your team, your clients, your spouse, your kids…what would they say about you? Many times, I hear a different story.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in the 35 years I’ve been a full-time student and teacher of leadership is this – if you think you’re a heart-led leader, you’re probably not. Because heart-led leaders are humble. They know they’re unfinished. They know heart-led leadership is a journey and not a destination. They know heart-led leadership isn’t a trophy you win, it’s a responsibility you recommit to every day.
Bill Graebel deserved that Lifetime Achievement award. Not because of the two pages I didn’t read. But because for fifteen years, I’ve heard the evidence from 155 voices.
And here’s the question that matters for all of us. If 155 people were asked to describe your leadership, what story would they tell?
Your résumé is written in ink. Your legacy is written in the hearts of the people you lead. Because you can’t buy respect…it is only earned.